trustno1

Well 2007 is over, and all in all I have to say it was a year of closing circles for me. I finally rejoined therapy and it`s made me see that not every comment and glare is aimed at me, and also not everything I do has to be 100% perfect in order to be a success.

I`ve always pushed myself but it was just getting out of hand. My parents where always strict and since I don`t live at home anymore seems like I took it upon myself to keep it up, but in a harsher way. Also a few years back I got involved with a guy who was just plain wrong (gorgeous to a fault, a womanizing, mentally abusive fault) and that just sent me into some weird paranoid selfdeprecating spiral. I stopped going out, lost touch with most of my friends and so on.

When I first left him it was thanks to therapy, but I now know I quit therapy to soon; I didn`t go back to him, but I was still not ready to face the world alone.

This year I got a new job that I really want to keep, but the standards are just not what I`m used to in a way they`re lower but the expectation of being constant in your delivery is something I`ve never done.

I sort of have a short attention span and get bored with routine, so it was hard to keep up with a standard, so hard it made me realize how hard I can be on myself. Fortunately! `cause that made me go bach to therapy.

now I`m learning to adapt.

This year I started getting my hair straightened permanently, but this meant having to get it proffesionaly dyed. It`s just to expensive and the truth is I preffer to dye it and I guess I`ll just have to make time in the morning or at night to straighten it the old-fashioned way.

I guess it`s vanity, `cause I don`t like looking at my grayhairs. Also I realized I`m getting older, my cholesterol level has very high at the start of the year, that made me excercise voluntarily for the first time ever!

Now the big decision is if I still want to live in the Big City (Mexico City), being backhome for the past two weeks has just made me think alot. People say Tijuana is not a safe town, but it sure feels peaceful compared to Mexico City. But then again it is vacation time so maybe it isn`t this peaceful all the time.

I guess this year I have to take a good look at what I have and whether or not I have to move in order to keep growing...

All in all a rough year but fortunately there was some meaning behind it all.

Hope I can keep it going for 2008  =)