trustno1

What I learned this week, 15 jun 08

Nothing’s for ever… Thank God

So last week my therapist said I should write a letter, burn it and use it as soil to plant something, the symbolism being that it would help something new and beautiful grow. The idea is beautiful, makes sense and I don’t feel apprehensive at all about doing it… but I haven’t been to busy but the truth is that eventhough I like the idea I know I need time to do it, it’s not like I can write the letter one day and 2, 3 days later burn it and then after a few more days do the plant thing… it needs to be a complete ritual and between time and energy I’m busy and maybe not as there as I would want… but one thing’s definite, I’m moving on and I need to know what my next move is going to be, I really like training but at least ‘til now I haven’t been able to figure out how to do it without being in the corporate world… or maybe what I don’t like is being in an authority position, maybe… but nah,

Or maybe if I did some volunteer work it would help, the thing is I’ve always wanted my life to matter and right now it doesn’t feel that way (by matter I mean transcend and do good), even though I do the cyber-activism duties and eventhough my principles are still the same, I feel like I’m not moving forward and that hurts my heart.