Trustno1's Blog

So first of all I gotta thank my friend 'cause if he hadn't asked me for some pics I would've stayed in PJs all day today and never gotten the amazing pics I did.

A few days ago I promised a friend some pics and had put it off until today, kitten couldn't go with me so we had breakfast toghether and off I went on the subway. I thought I'd take the tube all the way to zocalo but then changed my mind and decided to walk a bit and see what was going on at Bellas Artes, five steps after that decision I decided to detour to a museum I've never gone in (Museo de Arte Popular) just to see what was happening there... this is what I found:

Yes, they are putting each bead on ONE BY ONE!!!

and this wasn`t all, a PIÑATA EXPO

and this was not all inside this amazing museum, they also have a train depicting different scenes from our bicentennial celebration:

This is handcrafted iron and hand-blown glass

After a quick visit I headed off to Bellas Artes and ran into...

A Merry go 'round !  so soon I hope to post pictures with me goin' 'round and 'round and ... well there was nothing new at Bellas Artes so I decided to walk to Zocalo, recently they made Madero street a pedestrian street and all I can say is YAY:

and finally I got to Zocalo

In zocalo they have this tobogan, a sphere... no idea what's indise, a skating rink and more goodies for the kiddies. I have way more pics but will post them afterz.

Thanks youuuu =D

What do we do on XMAS?

Cross the border by bus... (me and sis at bus stop) note the cliche

Dress up the turkey...

And wear silly hats

In Mexico piñatas are a real big thing come XMAS time, specially the ones that look like stars 'cause In Mexico, piñatas are believed to have originated among the Aztecs, Mayans, and other native peoples of Mexico, and when we all got evangelized they used them as an allegory for all sweet tempations and how you have to break them with a mighty stick.... or something to that effect.
Anyways here are some pics of piñatas and nativity scenes made in different parts of mexico... also some fun pics of a performing tree, decorations around the Zocalo and a snowman making workshop in Zocalo also (we never ever have snow here in The City)

Nativity scene exposition at Museo de Culturas populares in Coyoacan

The Three Wise men, important peepz here.... Jan 6 is their day and kids get more presents and everybody eats rosca de reyes where little baby jesus' are hidden and who ever gets one has to host a tamale party on the 31st (dia de la candelaria... no idea)

Snowman making workshop... remember we don't get snow here

Downtown all decked out for XMAS

Street performer... deposit a coin and the tree will tell you your future.... in dance

Pinata Expo downtown... this is actually what they used to stuff piñatas with in days of yoir.... no M&Ms back then

kids breaking piñata - piñata

On saturday we went to the Corona Capital Festival, a bunch of groups played but we really where just interested in three Echo & The Bunnymen, James and The Pixies. This is us getting ready: 

First up, Echo & The Bunnymen. The Cutter, Lips like sugar, Living Clean, 7 seas!, Dancing Horses... and as soon as it got dark: The Killing Moon!!!!  (Pay no attention to the toker),

I have to strrrrres that I had never ever seen any of these bands play before... so my 20ish year old heart was simply melting, and with every song that started I jumped a little bit higher.

http://s243.photobucket.com/albums/ff305/fegi_1970/Corona%20Capital/?action=view&current=Imagen008.mp4

Then James started with Sit Down, they have such amazing energy. The trumpeteer is even more hiper than Gene so that made it loads of fun, the only problem was that the sound on that stage wasn't very good so that kind of sucked... but still fun. And to finish their set: LAID

http://s243.photobucket.com/albums/ff305/fegi_1970/Corona%20Capital/?action=view&current=Imagen030.mp4

after James it was Interpol which I like but I was really distracted by my brain going PIXIES OMG PIXIES IS NEXT ! ! !

They played E V E R Y T H I N G

Vamos, Gauge away, This monkey is going to heaven, Debaser, Here comes your man, La la love you and of course Where is my mind... but finished with Gigantic

http://s243.photobucket.com/albums/ff305/fegi_1970/Corona%20Capital/?action=view&current=Imagen036.mp4

Yeah I picked this song because it holds good memories for me =)

It was so amazing guys that I just needed to share as much as possible, bye

So I found out that today is International Peace Day and I found this link with some pretty cool songs that talk about peace.

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/10-best-peace-songs.html?page=2

Which is your favorite song?

First I have to tell you guys that I hadn't told my BF about me and my relationship with Pancho (from journal MEN MY STORY) because of how complicated it was and the state my life was in back then. I litteraly just told her last november (and at that time (and at that time me and Pancho had not been talking for about five years.

So here's the thing, I need to vent:

Yesterday I was talking to her about Pancho and me reconnectingand I was really happy about being able to talk to her like this and also about stuff from the past that I had never shared with her, but then I felt her starting to talk about other stuff (changing the subject) and just got the feeling she didn't want to hear me.

And then she just started talking about how she wouldn't want him as a teacher because of his sarcastic nature and comparing him to two of her "friends with benefits", this just kind of angered me because I consider both these guys true a-holes, one of them told her he didn't want to see her until she lost weight (and as far as I know most conversations go like that) and the other is the father of her kid and didn't want to have anything to do with him but still wanted to f* her and at somepoint "looked at me funny".

I know I shouldn't put so much weight on words but still it kinda hurt that she'd say such things without having the full grasp of things and mostly because my story is different in the sense that as much as Pancho and I hurt each other as twenty-somethings we have grown, matured and still I know that even then he wouldn't have left  me alone to fend for myself after getting pregnant (we had a scare and he was there for me) or tell me that I was to fat for him to see me.

I feel like I'm in a whole different place than where I was about 15 years ago when it comes to him and moreover with us so it's kind of a downer to be seen with and old perspective that is no more.

=(   just needed to say this

OMG OMG OMG!!! Yesterday I went to a talk given by Sir Bob Geldof. Lead singer of the BoomTown Rats, he founded Band Aid along with Midge Ure and is now adviser to ONE.Org

It was an amazing and inspiring talk and made a lot of sense on how social awareness is in great danger of just being a sound bite and how each one of us has to put the pressure on governments so issues don't fade away 24 hrs later.

I will post photos later but I have to say... I never ask for autographs but this time I did and I got to tell him how the Anti-Apartheid movement and Live Aid changed my life... and he looked genuinely touched and just said Thank you... I izzz fangirling since yesterday !!! 

I wrote more on Live Aid on a photo assigment we once did,  Aug 4, 2008 to be exact

The day my earth shook

 Live Aid 1985, that was the day I understood who I wanted to be and that it didn't matter if anyone else on this earth got it... "I can't change the world but I can change the world in me". It will for ever be a part of me.

See you guys, just needed to share my joy =)

OK, I'm writing this because it's time to say a bit more about myself, because I'm in my full circle moment and mostly because I read a post by a friend and just made me realize how we all need to know that we all go through the crap and so the young one's know they don't have to take it.

The original draft is more than twice as long so I will be posting "chapters" during the next few weeks. OK, this makes absolutely no sense so let me start telling the story so you can get it:

Men, my story

I remember specifically when Alex (who I considered one of my best friends) found out that I had a crush on him and how our friendship turned into me becoming the school spectacle (there was only one classroom per grade, so yeah pretty much e v e r y b o d y found out)... after that I didn't tell anyone about my crushes upto Jr High.

When I got to Jr High it was a whole new school, whole new set of people. Early on I met the guys from the out-going class of my specialty, a guy who just took my breath away: Orlando. He was tall, skinny, white as snow, bright blue eyes, shaggy looking and crazy... I was head over heels, and he noticed. By Christmas time we where really close and at my class' Christmas party by the end of the night his hands where around my waist and we where so close we could have kissed (didn't though). By the end of the night him and other friends offered those of us who lived farthest a lift and so we went on the back of the truck and sat next to each other and I felt his hand on my bare waist (he was touching my skin!) and then I felt his hand going further up, so I grabbed it and pulled it down but when I let it go he went back up again, so the whole ride home I held his hand so it wouldn't "wander" and thought this was a bit fast... but still jumping up & down on the inside. Monday rolls around and I get to school, Orlando was one of the first people I bump into... and he's got some other girl hanging on him, I don't really remember what he said to me but I just remember it was a diss to me, totally in public and just trying to shame me. It was heartache.

After him came another friend from that same clique: Joe, he kissed me when we went all together to see LUCAS (! - plus my first kiss). On the next school day he came over to talk to me, it was only a kiss, that's all... and again I felt like crap, chewed up, spit out and not knowing how Lucas ended... Damn the world!)(*&%

The next school year I practically became a nun. It was practically the end of the school year when me and my girlfriends met up with one of the guys at a our usual restaurant, but this time he brought a friend: Michael, skinny as the coolest rock god you can imagine, curly black hair and amazing eyes. We hung out most of that summer and did actually go on dates (my first dates) put his head on my lap and was just sweet and amazing... he was also friends with Orlando. One day we ran into him but I didn't make much of it. Soon after he just stopped talking to me, no explanation, no fight, nothing, zero. This was the first time I literally felt my heart break, I stopped eating and just cried. Wrecked my head just trying to figure it out and just came to the conclusion that I was not worthy of having any boy like me like that. Fortunately I was headed of on vacation soon and I met Eduardo. My summer crush, dates, kissing and getting back home one day before school started... a promise to keep in touch but that was quickly forgotten.

First day of school and I'm with my girlfriends in the middle of the square talking about our summer vacations when to guys come up... one of them looked like a typical teenage boy with a prepubescent mustache and everything, the other guy.... Wow! I literally forgot my name... His name: Pancho. With time we became casual friends and after a year we where good friends and went out with the gang every Friday. The first time we kissed he held me by the waist - by my skin - and I felt his hands go up (flashback) when I said no he put them down and said he wouldn't hurt me. From that day on we just got closer and closer. One day we where making out heavily at my house and obviously the SEX equation came to play, I said I wasn't ready... and he said OK and everything was fine, no pressure and most important for me is that he was still there the next day. Oh yeah, and did I say he had a girlfriend at the time? Well yeah, he did and I knew it and didn't care and at the same time it just played a wreck with my self-esteem, I was very confused.

After about 4 years he left for NYC to study and we just saw each other on XMAS break and summer. We both started seeing other people but still kept close. About a year after I started working, that's where I met the guy that I really believed I could be with for the rest of my life: Armando... just one tiny detail, he got married not long after we met (she "got pregnant" and the baby was having problems), I decided to go for it anyway: stupid - weak me. For a while a convinced myself that all was good and it would all work out. It didn't, this was the most pain I have endured and it kind of hardened me. When my best friend called me to say she needed me I just got on a plane; out of friendship and just needing to escape my life... this is how I ended up in Mexico City... but alas, I thought getting out of town would fix me, it didn't.

In my first job here in Mexico I met Luis, very handsome and soon after people started telling me that there where rumors about him having a kid and being divorced... in truth this does not bother me but I just needed to know where I stood, so I decided to ask: he told me he had a son and in the process to get divorced, I believed him because I didn't see a reason for him to lie. This relationship started pretty fast and it took me by surprise. So as fast as it went at some point he just started pulling away (mind you I'd already agreed to marry him at this point). I took a lot of shit from him and literally thought I was going crazy but couldn't leave, just because I didn't want to be alone again. Eventually I found out the truth: he was married and living with his in-laws (fjkfjds wtf? Lame, shameful, you name it). After therapy and getting my balls back I finally did it, I broke up with him for good. After this break up me and Pancho tried to get our thing going again, but the truth is I was too bitter and ended up cutting contact with him altogether.

At another job, I think this is when I really started to get the difference between douches and men. This guy always wore his wedding ring but was always saying how it's not "natural" to be with one partner your whole life, blah blah blah. One day when he was leaving he went into my office to say good-bye: he pulled me in and gave me a quick peck in the mouth, that's when I realized what he was thinking and I wasn't interested on going back and doing that life again.

I stopped "looking" altogether, just got fat and buried my head in my job. Two years ago I realized that I was just miserable in all aspects of my life and that is when I stopped working and focused on me. Last November I met a guy that for the first time in years made me go "OK", nothing happened there... but it was fine, it was fun.

Around last November I think I decided to unblock Pancho (oh yeah, I blocked him from every @ I had) did not try to contact him, was to embarrassed. At the end of this passed march I got a FB invite from him and news that he'd be in Mexico City in april and then again in may. We saw each other both times (every day during his may stay) and at the end of the night during his last day we got a coffee the two of us, sat on the sidewalk and talked mostly about how we've just been an important part of each others life for over 20 years now.

So this is where my story is at right now and I'm not afraid anymore, still not big on the "getting out there" but I guess what I'm trying to say is that in your life you will meet a bunch of toads (douchebags even) and maybe there is no 100% the perfect love story that is pounded into our heads with every freaking love song and/or movie, but they all help you understand what it is you want from a guy, from a relationship, you will always stumble but always remember what it is you want and what it is you don't want... and then you can find the relationship that really makes you feel like you. Not quite there yet but willing to achieve it.

Today what has become one of my favorite shows of all time comes to "The End" in the US and I am seriously sad, I have no idea what I'm going to be like for the next few days, it's like saying good-bye to a friend who always took you on an adventure that you weren't expecting and that you can never imagine the end to it.

Today here in Mexico we are getting to see the previous episode "What they died for" and it's until tuesday that we will get to see "The End" and since I don't want to have even an inkling of what this last few miles of this awesomely confusing and exciting ride are going to be like I've decided to go off the grid (tv entertainment and @) until wednesday when I can fanfart and gasp along with all of you.

So see ya!

So our lap is no more, dont know how long it´ll be until we are able to buy a new one so I won´t´be on for a while =(

Will miss you all but promise to check in from time to time, lub ya guys